It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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