you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
