Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I am spending my child support on dildos
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
