hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
being pregnant is like rehab
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
