I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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