There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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