I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
