conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
