Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
