I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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