I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
