You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
