Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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