im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
