i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
