yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
