The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize