ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize