you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
