this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
