the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
