I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
