i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
