Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
