2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
