She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Jerry, you need to find god
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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