Will you blow on my dice?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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