Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize