You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
