Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
