Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
