His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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