Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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