So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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