Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
