his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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