I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
