And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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