Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
