I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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