My room smells like vodka and shame
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
