he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
time to smoke my breakfast
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
