I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
