And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize