no, he came in my armpit
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Is Oprah even human
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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