She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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