i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize