lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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