Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
