isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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