Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
