Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
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