dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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