Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Houston, we have a blender
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize