at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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