Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
