I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
