dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
