The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
