Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize